Catholics Watch The Masters on Easter

A simple plan to combat overeating at Easter. Set up the buffet in front of the TV:


Everyone watches who eats what and how much. Want seconds? They must be justified to the room full of people glued to The Masters, mostly because you're blocking the TV while freshening your plate. Please note: the picture was taken a few hours after the party began. Brunch was long over, but people we starting to go back for lunner (is that lunch and dinner? linner?).

We've consumed a lot of peanut butter in the last few days, almost all egg-shaped and covered in chocolate. Reese's tastes the most fresh at Easter. Halloween usually has some dried out peanut butter cups, which makes me wonder if people buy their Halloween candy on Nov. 1 and store it in their freezer until next year. 

Mustering up super human strength, I made it back to the gym today, and while on the treadmill, I listened to two old Jewish men discuss the recent holidays. I could no longer listen to Ozzie Guillen on the TV in front of me explain how "I love and respect Fidel Castro" was misinterpreted  - the guy rambles regardless of language, thus the holiday talk was a welcome diversion.

One man explained to the other that his weekends have been taken up by the recent holidays as he had to go to someones house for Palm Sunday, "then, of course, there was Easter."

other guy: What's Palm Sunday? Is it like a second Easter?

first guy: Yeah. I guess so.

other guy: We went to Passover at an orthodox friend of my son's. It was four hours!

first guy: Four hours! Why so long? Did you fall asleep?

other guy: I wanted to, but we all had to read. We read every single page in that book! I didn't get to bed until 12:30, which is three hours after my bedtime!

first guy: Every page? Why?

other guy: The guy's orthodox, so you know he couldn't start it until after sundown, which was 8 p.m. Then he read, and he passed the book around so we can all read. We ate during half time. Not half time, but intermission. I told my wife, if they ask about us next year, tell them we're busy!

first guy: How do you know him?

other guy: I told you, he's a friend of my son's. His parents live down the street from us, and he did too, until 2000. He was a partner in a tech firm, and he left, getting $200 million, and soon after, everything crashed. He got out with the $200 million, so after that, he became orthodox.

first guy: Ahhhhhh. The converted are all like that. 

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