Brussel Sprouts are Attacking My Tummy

I’m not going to lie, things went a little off the rails here for NaBloPoMo. So much for every day. This would have killed OCD me in the past, but this year, I don’t care. I mean, I care, but not enough to do anything about it.

I’m losing a love-hate relationship with brussel sprouts. I hated brussel sprouts my entire life until about two years ago when a friend with a restaurant changed that for me. Now I love them, but they hate me. I ate a bunch last night, then went to bed with such horrible abdominal pain that I got all the-end-is-here preachy. Not one to stop small, I went big. If I lived through this awful episode: No more football food on Sundays! No more waffle breakfasts! No more carbonated drinks! None of it. However, I never suspect the brussel sprouts. Something so good for me shouldn’t try to kill me, but it is.

Today I woke up fine and again, found myself craving brussel sprouts. Next I found myself eating brussel sprouts despite the abuse they put me through last night and the fact that I have a dental appointment in about 30 minutes. I ate them while screaming at myself to stop, and I did stop after eating most of the leftovers. Now I need to haul my bloated self to the dentist, where I hope I don’t feel sick.

(This all reminded me of a former co-worker, who told me that when he was a kid, without thinking, he ate Oreos on the way to the dentist, and sat down in the chair with a mouth full of black paste coating his teeth. He said the dentist let out a low, angry, “Jeeeesuuuuuss.”)

I’m off to brush and floss really well, like I always do, after each and every meal. I’ll use that little proxabrush interdental thing, too, even though it creeps me out. Hopefully the bleeding stops before I get to the dentist, allowing me to pretend to be the best patient ever.

Updated: Darn brussel sprouts, my tummy hurts! Also, the dentist referred me to an orthodontist. Those two things aren’t related, but they don’t add up to a winning day.

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